


Bring Me Home

by AzhaLambrin



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Kylo Ren Redemption, Mentioned Darth Vader, Reylofest, Slow Romance, Unresolved Emotional Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2019-03-12 13:31:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13548339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AzhaLambrin/pseuds/AzhaLambrin
Summary: He was lost in the dark.She will show him the light...and guide his way back.





	1. No Surrender

**Author's Note:**

  * For [alltheseghosttowns (jane_wanderlust)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jane_wanderlust/gifts).



> “I need you to stay,  
> But I let you drift away.  
> My love, where are you?”  
> -Surrender, Natalie Taylor

He told Luke that he would destroy her.

It was a promise made out of anger and frustration. But it wasn’t one he couldn’t keep. In the exchange of fire between First Order soldiers and rebel scums, they had finally come face to face. Surrounded by fire and chaos, Kylo was reminded of that day in the throne room. He had her by his side then. But it wasn’t long before he lost her again.

He couldn’t think about that now. Thinking about it would urge unpleasant emotions to cloud his mind and he needed a clear head if he was to put an end to all of this. Kylo watched her step forward with nothing but a scavenger’s staff.

 _Where was her lightsaber?_ He asks himself, waiting for her to pull it from behind her. But not having made a move for it, she confirms its absence in their fight.

“You’re not doing this,” he tells her, rather decidedly. “You have no weapon.”

“I don’t think you should count me out just yet,” she snaps back, twirling her staff expertly between her arms.

She was foolish, he thought. His lightsaber would cut that thing in half as soon as their fight begins. But he wasn’t entirely sure she was unaware of the danger she’s facing. What was she doing?

“It wouldn’t be a fair fight.”

Rey scoffs so bitterly the sound alone nearly cuts him. “Since when are you concerned about fairness, Ren?”

 _Ren_ , he echoes back to himself, feeling his heart sink. _She’s calling me Ren._

“You’re right,” he resigns, igniting his lightsaber. “I won’t start now.”

She attacks first as she always did.

For a while, he tried not to hit her—or her staff. But considering how aggressive she was, he had no choice. This had to end in one way or another. Kylo disarms her quickly, leaving her nothing but the Force to fend for herself. She aims for his lightsaber then, but he had it in his grip too strongly for her to succeed. On any other occasion, he would cut down his opponent already or use the Force to choke him. He rarely took prisoners. But with her, he was willing to change that. She was too valuable for him to lose.  

“Your move, scavenger,” he says, shutting off the beam of his saber. “Surrender and join me—”

“You’re delusional,” she spits out.

And before he had time to think, Rey comes at him. Instinctively, he grips the hilt of his weapon tightly and turns it on. The blade pierces through and amidst the noise of blaster bolts and screams, he hears a gasp, soft like a whisper.

_What did I do?_

Rey falls slack in his arms. Her eyes stared up at nothing, her mouth still slightly open as her last breath leave her. Kylo lets go of his lightsaber to hold her up, but she was already dead. Seeing it now, he knew that this wasn’t what he wanted to happen. In fact, this is the _exact_ opposite of what he really desired.

Overcome with disbelief, he screams, and it was the most agonizing sound he’d ever heard himself make.

 

 

Rey wakes up in the middle of the night.

There was a weight in her heart that she couldn’t explain. Haunted by the echoes of her nightmare, she takes a deep breath and closes her eyes, feeling the energy around her to calm her down.

She’d never heard such an awful sound. The creature howled in mourning and loss, an emotion that she carried too. Somehow, this reminds her of Ben. Times like these, when she was comfortable in the dark, she would empathize with him. Rey understood the loneliness he feels, the isolation and abandonment, because it resonates with her own. Sometimes, she would even dare wonder what would it be like for them both if she had agreed to join him.

As she pondered on about the lost Ben Solo, she hadn’t noticed the figure in the dark, sitting up with his head in his hands. When she finally did see him, he was half asleep and so was she.

 _I could be dreaming_ , she tells herself, pulling away the coarse blanket and moving towards the shadow carefully. _This could be just another nightmare._

Then he looks up, that shock of black hair waving with the sudden movement. His dark brown eyes were filled with tears and horror. He stares at her with such grief that a brief second passed and Rey found herself sitting in front of him attentively.

“Ben.”

“You’re here,” he whispers, the desperation evident in his tone. “You’re alive.”

He heaves a sigh that Rey could mistake for relief and for a while they just looked at each other, the undeniable longing buzzing between them as their connection grew stronger. She reaches out a hand to him impulsively, but pulls away at the last second, putting it on her lap instead. This can’t happen. Rey won’t let it, not while he was still deeply rooted in the darkness.

“Shouldn’t I be?” She asks, almost scornfully.

Ben doesn’t say reply. He only looks at her, not with bitterness or anger like she expected. He doesn’t even acknowledge the venom in her voice and merely stares into her, his gaze flickering between her eyes and her lips.

“You’re projecting,” she says now, moving away with that feeling in her heart getting heavier as she went. “Go. We can’t see each other like this anymore.”

“You’re pushing me away,” he murmurs, not as a question, not even in disbelief. It was a mere note of observation.

“Well, what would you have me do?” Rey demanded, throwing her arms up in the air. “What do you want, Ben?”

“Nothing,” he replies a little too quickly, tearing himself away from her intense gaze. “You’re right. We can’t see each other like this.”

“We’re enemies,” she says as if they both need to be reminded.

“Yes. We are.”

Rey nodded, acting as if it was a negotiation instead of the obvious. She didn’t dare say anything else. She was ready to leave it at that, to prepare herself for the next time they would face one another; a probable fight to the death. But then Ben pipes up and his eyes were alive with this convulsive energy.

“If you agreed to join me, we wouldn’t have to be.”

Rey could tell that the argument she had anticipated for days now was about to begin. She retorted quickly.

“You were asking me to do the one thing I _can’t_ do, Ben—”

“But I _begged_ you!”

“And _I_ didn’t?” She snaps, breathless and frustrated. The disappointment she feels now was more on herself than him, on that hope that truly failed her for the first time.

“I thought you would understand.”

“Me, too,” he says quietly, looking at her intensely. “But you left instead.”

“No,” she replies, not even trying to hide how miserable that made her. “You turned your back on me, Ben.”

Under the lowest breaths, he uttered, “I was only asking you to stay.”

Suddenly she sees him as a young boy, growing up just like she did…alone, and afraid to be left behind. Admittedly, Rey didn’t see it that way. But she had her reasons, valid ones, and for a brief moment, she regained that spark of hope that Ben would see through it somehow. Then she remembered what he really asked of her that day and knew that she was hoping for nothing. He was too stubborn, and she had no doubt that Ben sees her the same way, too.  

When their eyes met again, their frustrations were reflections of one another. Neither is willing to go in the direction they wish the other to be on. Their paths laid many sacrifices, and this was only the beginning.

“You and your friends can’t hide forever,” he says now, a hint of Kylo Ren resurfacing but not quite. “And when I do, I swear—”

“Don’t.” She had to stop him there. Rey knew better than to listen to empty threats and promises made out of anger.

Ben sighs heavily, pursing his lips. “You will see reason, Rey.”

“I’m still hoping you will,” she murmurs. “So, that makes two of us.”

He looks at her one more time before he disappears, and the connection is cut. Rey breathes in, but relief didn’t come. Despite all the apparent reasons to fear him or hate him, she only understood his pain more. Her worry over him extends to the hope that he would just come home.

She slips into a memory of her, screaming after her parents to come back. And as Rey closed her eyes, that’s all she could hear, only this time it was a whisper. Over and over, like a mantra, she whispered it like a prayer.

_Come back._

_Come back to the light, Ben._


	2. On Promises

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “I won’t let you let me go,  
>  Scars of our mind games never show.  
>  We’re never going to be alone again.  
>  We’re never gonna let it know.  
>  We’re enemies, lovers, not friends.  
>  And we fight till the end.”  
>  -Fight ‘til the end, Jack Savoretti

When Kylo Ren woke up, Hux was there, staring at him with such disapproval.

“How long have you been standing there?”

“A while,” the redhead admitted. “I do have a talent in subtlety, but I couldn’t wait any longer. It is an urgent matter.”

He hated the idea of the General hovering over him while he slept. If he was being honest, it unsettled him greatly. Kylo cleared his throat and conjured the most intimidating voice he could muster at such an early hour.

“What is it, Hux?” He demanded, coming out hoarse and sleepy instead.

“It’s already been three days since the disappearance of the Resistance. We have been surveilling nearby systems, but we still have nothing. Surely, we have a plan, Supreme Leader?”

“Yes,” he replies, clearing his throat. “Find them.”

Hux purses his lips in an effort not to groan. “We are running out of credits, _sir_. We have to gain back the sponsors we’ve lost due to Supreme Leader Snoke’s death.”

“Do what you have to do,” Kylo commands carelessly. “Just find me those rebel scums and get it over with.”

“We would have to rebuild, Supreme Leader. We’ve lost half of our fleet.”

“The Resistance is down to _one_ junk of a ship, General. I don’t think we would need an entire fleet for that.”

“They are the only thing standing in our way to absolute domination!” Hux insisted, quite angrily too. He clears his throat in an effort to regain control. “The Republic is _dead_. The galaxy is all but ours to take. But if there is so much as a speck left in the Resistance, I suggest we get rid of it. We cannot underestimate them the way the Empire had.”

“If we did then we’re idiots,” he agreed. “But I won’t waste time reconstructing our army when we could have the rebels now while they’re still a _speck_. Once we find them, that will be the end of it.”

The General didn’t appear to want to let it go. But those were orders, and how he hated being ordered about, especially by Kylo Ren. After a while, he says, “As you wish,” and salutes before leaving the Supreme Leader’s presence.

Even from where he lay, Kylo knew that Hux was seething with rage. This sharp tool, as Snoke once put it, would undermine him in every way possible and sooner or later, the General would bring him down. The First Order didn’t really matter to Kylo the way it does to Hux, but it was all he had left. And he would need them if he was to finish what he started.

He was just starting to get up when he hears it. It was faint, but it was there; the whisper of his father’s name, that tender and serene voice he craved while growing up, the sounds of the trees billowing in the wind as ships fly across the skies. He knew where this was coming from and it didn’t take long till he felt his mother reaching out to him.

 

 

They were already landing when Rey woke up.

She had no idea where they were, but General Organa seemed to know her way around. As they all dislodged from the Falcon, she got to see the faces left in their rebellion. There weren’t many, but they were all they had for now.

They would regroup, Poe had said this earlier. Every resource they could find had to be gathered and they would only be able to do that if they risk getting on a planet that was closest as can be to the Core.

“Where are we?” Rey asks C-3PO as she joined it trailing behind the group.

The droid proudly replies, “We have safely occupied the planet of Corellia, the homeworld of none other than Han Solo.”

The mention of Han brings back the memories on Star Killer Base. It was seldom for her to think of the fallen smuggler—and war hero—without seeing the image of him disappearing into a chasm of white light, and the inevitable figure of his distraught son. But Rey knew something now that she didn’t know before.

Like a switch, their connection opens. She could feel his presence linger near her, close to the touch but not close enough to hold. He senses her, too.

 _I know you’re there,_ he says, his voice echoing inside her head.

“Don’t you have anything better to do?” She fires back. Ben begins to reply when C-3PO turns to Rey.

“Excuse me?” The droid asks, surprised.

“Oh no,” she quickly says, closing her eyes briefly as she hears Ben chuckle in the background. “I’m so sorry, Threepio. There’s, uh…this insect in my ear. It’s _really_ annoying.”

She hears Ben groan and can almost imagine him rolling his eyes.

“Why don’t I check with the General if she needs something and you can—sort out your insect problem?” The droid doesn’t wait for her to say anything else and walks off.

Ben appears in the corner of her eye while the rest of the Resistance remain oblivious. Rey wasn’t sure this was a good thing. She suddenly felt panicked, and trapped. She can’t warn them without tipping Ben off, and she can’t talk to Ben without looking suspicious. She falls behind a couple of paces more, letting Threepio go on ahead of her.

She turned to him now with a little crease in her forehead. “I thought we were supposed to be enemies?”

“Why, would you rather I try to kill you now?” He asks, genuinely curious.

She doesn’t say anything, looking down at their feet inches apart.

“Besides,” he adds. “You know we can’t hurt each other here. It will be pointless.”

“So, why are you here then?” As soon as she said it, it hits her. “You’re here to find out where we are, aren’t you?”

“I’m not,” he says. “Because I already know where you are.”

Fear grips her heart like ice. Her link with Ben was putting the Resistance at risk, and by staying she was making things worse for them. Before she could cut him out though, he tells her the most unexpected thing.

“Calm down.”

“Why should I?” Rey spat back. “You’re probably sending TIE fighters here as we speak, ready to obliterate all of us.”

“That may be true. It _is_ something I would do—”

“Because you’re a monster,” she interjected and as soon as she did, she suddenly wished she could take it back. Her tone made him falter a bit, losing that glimmer of mischief in his eyes.

Ben met her with a cool gaze. “Yes. I do think we’ve established this,” he says. Then after a while, he asks. “So, where back to this, are we?”

“Shouldn’t we be?”

“No.” It was a firm response and Rey sees that he somehow means it. “We’re past that point. You and I both know there’s no going back to that.”

“Then this is going to be confusing, Ben,” she says quietly.

“Maybe,” he admits. “But now that you’ve pointed it out…I don’t think it’s such a hard concept to grasp. I know what I have to do. Do you?”

When she lifted her eyes to his, the answer she planned on saying with heated conviction disappeared. He didn’t mean as a threat as she initially thought. And if he was, that wasn’t what she was seeing—not with the way he was looking down at her…like in the elevator that day they took down Snoke.

 _I’ll help you_ , she suddenly remembered saying.

Their meeting then only proved how complicated the situation was. If only she had the ability to pull him to the light herself, she would’ve done it already.

But a task that great, that defining, shouldn’t depend on her. That decision was one he should make on his own. Otherwise, it will be for nothing. She knew this when she left him unconscious in the Supremacy.

“Yes, I do,” she finally replies, holding his gaze.

For now, she closes the door on him. It was still dangerous, for both of them.

But no matter what happens, this will be her mission. Rey would keep her promise to him, to help him break away from the darkness. She will bring him home. She will do it for Han, for Luke, and for Leia. But most of all, she will do it for Ben. 


	3. On Homeworlds and Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Friendships are tested and compromises are made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “You’re pulling our connections,  
>  Expecting me to let you go—but I won’t.”  
>  -Close to You, Rihanna

It had only been hours since disembarking, but General Organa had already led the group into a secret base of the old Corellian Resistance.

After meeting with their council, they proceeded to have dinner in the small cantina. Everyone hadn’t been probably fed in days and despite the odd tastes served by the staff, they could all care less.

Rey was sitting next to Finn who had been talking intensely with Poe across him. She was gobbling up just as much as she can, too absorbed by hunger not to have noticed that the link was open again.

“Kriff, take a swig of water before you choke yourself.”

Ironically, Rey almost did choke after Ben’s reappearance.

“Are you okay?” Finn asks immediately with one hand rubbing her back gently.

“She’s fine,” Ben replies with a dead expression. “She just briefly choked herself to death because you weren’t paying attention to her food consumption…”

“Shut it,” Rey murmured under her breath, her eyes narrowed at her invisible intruder.

This made Finn pull away warily with a look of worry painted on his face. “Is there something wrong?”

 _Kriff_ , Rey thought, copying Ben’s expression.

She shakes her head quickly and takes a long sip of water. “I’m sorry,” she says as she stands up. “Nothing’s wrong. I just have to use the ‘fresher—” and then she dashes out of the cantina, turning heads as she went.

When she finds the private room, she shuts the door and looks up at him with annoyance.

“What do you want?”

“Nothing,” he replies, nonchalant. “I felt the connection open so—”

“I thought we weren’t doing this?” She demanded with both hands on her hips now. “Or are you just toying with me? Is this what it is?”

“I like to do things directly,” he tells her instead. “ _Toying_ with you will be a complete waste of time.”

“Then what are you doing?”

“Our last conversation felt unfinished, that’s all,” he admits.

Rey sighs in resignation and sits on the toilet seat. “I can’t do this, Ben.”

“I know.”

“So, what is it?” She asks, looking up at him. “What else feels unfinished?”

To which he replies breathily, “Everything.”

A knock sends Rey up to her feet, ignoring the ghost staring after her as she opens it. In the doorway stood General Organa and for a moment, the woman looked at only her. Then Leia’s gaze shifts to meet Ben’s and suddenly the world stopped moving. A few seconds ticked by before Leia nods knowingly at Rey and the connection immediately shuts off.

“What—what was that?” Rey asks, stunned.

The General simply tilted her head to the side, a gesture to follow her lead. “We have a few things to talk about.”

 

 

With everything that had happened recently, arriving in Corellia to resupply and regroup with an old ally was the only time Leia could finally grieve her late husband, Han Solo, and her brother, Luke Skywalker.

Admittedly, there had been only a handful of times she had been to Corellia. Though this was Han’s homeworld, he rarely spoke of it. He was orphaned at an early age and had made his way around the galaxy through a number of crimes before meeting Chewbacca and eventually acquiring the Falcon. That piece of junk had been his home since…

But Leia couldn’t deny how being here felt closer to him somehow. After his death, she hadn’t tried to contact Ben through the Force. It was too much for her. And she wasn’t sure what she would see, how she would feel, or she was even prepared for such an ordeal. But then there was a brief glimpse of him, back in the bridge of the Raddus, and she regained an inkling of hope—up until everything around her exploded.

To her, Ben was lost. She was so sure of it. Right now, Kylo Ren remained in her son’s body and there was nothing else she could do. Leia didn’t mean to reach out to him when they landed in Corellia. But remembering Han and how she asked him to bring their son home, it opened up the wound. He was just a presence, but a strong one at that, especially with their relation.

And he was right there, waiting for her.

If there was one thing that could grant her some peace, it was the thought that hope was like the sun. It will always find a way to rise because it always does. As a mother, she couldn’t help but have hope for him again, even just a little.

When he told her about what happened in the Supremacy, with Snoke and with Rey, she didn’t say anything at first. When she told him where they were—a bold and risky move, she knew—he remained quiet, too. But it wasn’t because he was calculating what to do next. She could feel it, the guilt eating at him. He was silent because he knew exactly why they were there.

“There isn’t a body to bury, or burn,” she continued. “But bringing the Falcon here is somewhat the same.”

“I know,” he replied. “I wish you would bury that garbage instead.”

Leia smiled, but wiped it off her lips immediately. She knew what Ben meant and knew it too well. The Falcon saved their lives far too many times than she could count, but to her and to Ben—as Han’s family—it was the one thing that always kept him away. She could also take half the blame, never having forced him to stay, but it was an act she did as a generous and supportive wife. She never realized she didn’t help the situation with their son. Now, their mistakes were staring at her with those eyes that looked so lost and alone.

“How long will you be staying in Corellia for?” He suddenly asked.

“Why, are you planning on blowing it up?” She coolly replied.

He was solemn when he answered. “I was planning on granting a truce.”

“A small compromise, you mean.”

“Yes,” he replied, rather forcefully. “Three days should be enough. It’s the burial custom in Chandrila, do you remember?”

Leia nodded, knowing he could sense her agreement.

“I don’t know what will happen after,” he said. “But it’s time to finish this.”

The connection faded inch by inch as he pulled away. Before he could truly disappear, Leia holds onto him one more time.

 

 

The General relays this information to Rey.

“He offered a truce?”

She tried not to sound too hopeful, but she couldn’t help it. Ben was already taking one step closer to the light—and without anyone’s help, too. Surely that counts for something.

But the General pursed her lips at her, her eyes sad and remorseful. “Don’t be too reassured about this, Rey. He could still change his mind, and it’s even more dangerous for us because he knows where we are.”

“The chance of him turning on _you_ is—”

“Not too far a stretch,” she said. “Remember why we’re here. We’ve lost so much already. The best we can hope for is a day, maybe a few hours, to replenish our supplies. The Corellian Resistance has assured at least a few recruits, another pod and a couple of starfighters. Rey,” and Leia breathes in, the exhaustion now evident on her face. “I need to know that I can rely on you.”

“You can, General,” she promised.

“I encourage hope, always. But know when a trust is earned and should be given, and when to be wary and smart. It’s not wrong to be too careful.”

“I understand.”

Leia was just about to leave, but felt the need to warn Rey about something. “Your connection with him…I suggest you keep that to yourself. Not everyone will understand—especially Dameron.”

“Will it be alright if I tell Finn?” She asks. “I’m afraid I haven’t told him anything and I don’t really want to keep this from him.”

“That’s up to you,” General Organa replies. “But in my opinion, your friend will understand you best of all.”

“Thank you, General.”

 

 

Rey decided to speak with Finn after she washed up.

The General announced that they would be leaving Corellia in four hours and who knows when they’ll land on another planet again after this. She reckoned it would be a long time, given the amount of supplies they carried into the Falcon.

As the warm water rushes over her, Rey reminisces about her time on Ahch-To; the moment she laid eyes on the vast oceans, the first time she experienced rain, the waves crashing on the shore—

In her mind’s eye, he appears. She even remembers the anger pulsing in her, how proud she was to tell him off, how he lost because she found Luke. Her voice echoes in her head as she calls him a monster for the nth time. She sees his face clearly, how his eyes stared deeply into her as he admits it—being a monster. Aside from the rain, it was also the first time she doubted Kylo Ren’s true nature.

  These memories alone unexpectedly open the bond and Rey finds herself in a very precarious situation.

 

 

Kylo was making minor modifications to his saber when it happened.

He thought at first that his own ‘fresher was open, only to realize that he was no longer in his own quarters. He didn’t even know what he was looking at till he saw Rey with her back to him, her skin a sandy white color from the heat of Jakku, and in between her shoulder blades was a small pinkish red mark.

“Oh no,” he heard her mutter. After a while, she finally spoke louder. “You’re…you’re not here, are you?”

Kylo suppressed a smirk. “I didn’t know you think about me this often.”

“I wasn’t!” Rey exclaimed. “Can you please leave?”

“What did the great General Organa say?” He asked now, ignoring her outburst. In his defense, he was genuinely curious.

She only groaned aloud. “Are we really going to do this here? Now?”

“I’m assuming you’re in the ‘fresher since I can hear the water,” he suggested, feigning a little bit of innocence.

“So…you can’t see me?” She demanded, skeptical.

He turned around to keep himself from looking—and lying. “Yes. I can’t see you.” He felt her calm down, so he must’ve sounded reassuring if not convincing. “Now, what did you talk about?”

Rey was quiet at first, but he couldn’t see what she was doing having resolved himself to give her the privacy she needs. Finally, she said, “You offered a truce.”

“And?”

“And I don’t know why.”

Kylo looked down at the floor, the water pooling at his feet. “You mean you don’t know how you feel about it,” he offered.

“I know how to feel about it,” she insisted. “I’m just not sure if it’s for a good reason or not.”

 _Well, that makes two of us,_ he thought as he closed his eyes.

“Can you just be thankful I’m not out there with a squadron of stormtroopers without questioning me?” He muttered under his breath.

“I told you this would be confusing.”

He was unable to control it any longer. Seething with frustration, but still in a low yet menacing voice, he replied. “So, you’d rather we just be enemies then? Is that it? You want me to wreak havoc on your precious Resistance?”

“Is that what _you_ want?”

“What do you think?”

“To what end, Ben?” She demanded. “What is all this for?”

 _Honestly_ , he thought. _I have no idea anymore._

“Ben.”

He risked turning around because he wanted to see her face, her emotions. He could feel her but, that never seems to be enough for him. Fortunately, Rey had managed to cover herself up and she was looking directly at him.

Suddenly, she made a face at him. “You, kriffin’ liar! You _can_ see me!”

“I do not—” then more annoyingly, he added, “and even if I did, that isn’t really up to you, not even me. It’s up to the Force. So, we might as well have some fun with it.”

“Fun?” Rey demanded in disbelief and began hitting him.

“I would suggest that next time you’re in a…compromising state, try not to think about me.” Despite being Kylo Ren, the fearsome warlord and Supreme Leader of the First Order, he was still a Solo—a very cocky one at that.

“I already told you that I wasn’t,” she hissed under her breath, hitting him harder. “And what makes you so sure that that’s what activates this—this bond?”

Ben only narrowed his eyes, not menacingly but teasingly. Rey couldn’t decide which was worse.

“Admit it, scavenger. You _were_ thinking about me.”

“You’re being completely self-absorbed.”

As Rey grew more annoyed, Ben was becoming more concrete to her.

“And _you_ are completely in denial.”

“You are unbelievable!” She screamed and summoning all her energy, she shut the connection down, only amusing him even more.

But his enjoyment was immediately cut short when he finds himself back in his quarters, with Hux standing over at the corner with a skin-crawling grin.

“Now, now, Supreme Leader,” the General begins, clucking his tongue. “What did we talk about playing with our food?”

 

 

She sat with Finn for dinner, still seething from her rendezvous in the shower.

“What’s the matter with you?” Poe Dameron asks as he chomps down on his rations. “You look like you just might kill the entire First Order.”

“I just might,” she agreed, staring off into the blank space ahead of her as she bites down angrily at her food.

“What is it? What happened?” Finn demanded, concerned.

Rey turned to him with every intent to tell him what was up with her lately, to explain the strange connection the Force had forged between her and their supposed enemy. But then she sees Poe leaning in, waiting for an answer as well with the same worried expression on his face. Heeding Leia’s warning, she sighed and shook her head.

“Nothing…it’s uh…”

Finn, despite his inability to mask his true emotions, showed a brave face and nodded. But Rey could already tell that he was disappointed. In an effort to break the secrecy, she sets down her utensils and grabs his hand, leading him away from the cantina and everyone else who had ears big enough to hear what was about to become the toughest conversation yet.

The Corellian Resistance base was well-hidden underground and finding your way around it can be extremely tricky. However, with everything so alive with energy, the Force-sensitive scavenger—and Resistance heroine—managed to immediately identify the trees overhead, specifically how to get there. Empty halls made it easier for them to sneak out. Climbing up the metal ladder, they reach the top where the trap door waits unlocked. Rey pushes through effortlessly and helps Finn up.

Their surroundings were shrouded in darkness save for the blinking stars, the planet Antar, and the sporadic passing of freighters and starships being tested. The winds were making the trees dance. Rey shudders as the breeze passes them by. Finn was quick to shrug off his jacket and put it on her shoulders.

“Thank you.” She offers him a smile which he returns.

“What did you want to talk about?” He asks now, trying not to sound too eager. “You—it, I mean, _this_ looks serious.”

“It is,” she says, settling herself on the grass. Finn follows her and sits cross-legged next to her. “I’ve been meaning to tell you for a while now. I just haven’t had the right time…”

“What is it?”

Rey takes a deep breath and looks deep into his eyes. “First, you have to promise me that you’d try and understand.”

“Of course, Rey,” he replies, sincere. “Anything.”

 _Here goes nothing,_ she thinks and begins to tell him everything.


	4. On Friends, Enemies and the In-Betweens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There will be defeat, and glory; suffering, and release,  
> There will be death, and life; darkness and light. 
> 
> Which one will save the galaxy?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Feeling further on my own,  
> I’m coming home.”  
> -Living Water, Vancouver Sleep Clinic

They had been silent for an hour now.

Rey waited patiently while various emotions flickered across Finn’s face as he processed every detail of what she had just unveiled to him. Minute by minute, he would begin a question but doesn’t finish it, disabling Rey to actually answer. Finally, he stands up and looks up at the sky, seemingly searching for something.

“Finn?”

He doesn’t answer and simply kept looking up.

“What is it?”

“I’m just—” he says as he rotates. “—checking if there are any dreadnoughts in the horizon already.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Rey whispers.

“How am I being ridiculous, Rey?” He asks, but not unkindly. “I am being realistic here. You know you can’t trust him.” And suddenly, he stops and looks at her carefully. “You _do_ know that, don’t you?”

“Of course, I do!” She stands up now too to level with him. “But this thing, whatever _this_ is…it could help us, Finn.”

He stares into her eyes, silently begging her to see reason. “It could,” he whispers. “But what if it doesn’t? You already said that you risked going to him to bring him to our side and it didn’t work.”

“No, it didn’t and that’s because I fail to realize one thing.”

“And what’s that?”

Rey sighs, a gentle yet sad smile playing on her lips. “That it isn’t up to me or Leia or anybody else to save him. It’s up to him.”

Finn doesn’t say anything again for a moment. But he held onto her. At last he says his final piece.

“I think you knew deep down that you wouldn’t be able to sway him then. But you kept hoping for it anyway.”

“It’s my greatest weakness—and strength,” she admitted quietly. “How are you feeling, though? Be honest.”

Finn sighs heavily, tightening his embrace on her slim shoulders. “I just don’t want you to get hurt. I don’t know what I’ll do if that happens.”

“Thank you for understanding, Finn.” She replies, returning the embrace.

The night was quiet as they stayed in that moment. Then all of a sudden, it wasn’t anymore. They didn’t hear the alarm. They didn’t even see it coming. But as soon as the first hit landed, it was all there was.

 

 

He was surrounded by eight stormtroopers—at the very least.

General Hux made sure that they didn’t appear as guards to confine him rather than protect him, even though the General would like to have that moment very much. Ben could tell that he was still in-charge, and whatever Hux is up to, he knows he had some power to go against it. But then he was escorted to the bridge, where the General gave coordinates to Corellia.

He tried not to show his surprise but even then, Hux was already onto him. Answering his silent question of how he found out, the redhead only says one word;

“Subtlety.”

Ben groans inwardly. Of course, he should’ve been more careful. The bastard was meant to be a fly on the wall. He knew this. Still, he hadn’t been able to ward him off successfully. The ship, which has been traveling in lightspeed for minutes now, arrives just a few miles out of Corellia’s atmosphere.

“What should be our plan, Supreme Leader?” Hux asks, almost taunting him. “We found the enemy. Do we bombard Corellia with everything we have?”

“That will be careless,” he replies begrudgingly. “We are only targeting a small group of rebels, not an entire planet.”

“What will be the difference? The whole galaxy could be against us.”

“All the more reason to be objective,” Ben says. “Our display in removing the Republic was enough to get their attention. To destroy another one would be pointless. We’re here to bring order not chaos.”

“As you command, Supreme Leader,” the General replies. Then to Admiral Fett, he commands. “Deploy the TIE fighters. And attack that rebel base.”

“General—” Ben begins but Hux only grinned.

“No prisoners. Am I correct, Supreme Leader?”

Clenching his teeth together, he nods firmly.

Hux grins wider and turns to the commander in charge. “Make sure that there are no survivors this time. Especially their precious Princess—”

Ben couldn’t take it anymore and snapped. He held Hux by the throat, tightly gripping it with full intent to squeeze the life out of him. But the General only choked out a laugh despite the apparent discomfort. Ben realized then that the stormtroopers have their weapons aimed at him. And unfortunately, they were all too close to even miss.

As powerful as he was with the Force, Ben could admit that he couldn’t stop multiple blaster bolts at the same time. In defeat, he loosens his grip, making Hux smile with grim satisfaction.

“Hurt her—” Ben says. “—and you’ll answer to me.”

The General replies mockingly, “But I already answer to you. Well, until now, given how you’ve proven your affiliations with the enemy.”

“She’s my mother!”

“What difference does it make, Ren? You already killed your father.”

Ben wished he could say how much he regrets that now, how sorry he truly was for committing such a horrible mistake. But he couldn’t really change that anymore. That was in the past. And his desperation to bury it only burned much more. Still, this was the one thing that he could prevent from happening; another fault, another person to lose.

“You’re so right.” Kylo Ren stood tall and suppressed his weaker self. He needed to be smart for this to work. “Let me finish this myself.”

Hux studied him carefully, but Kylo could see his ambition winning over him. If the Supreme Leader himself is asking for his permission, then it would appear that the title no longer holds. Hux wouldn’t let that opportunity pass and commands two of his personnel to prepare Ren’s TIE Silencer.

Just as Kylo exits the bridge, the General calls out to him one more time. Still flanked by stormtroopers, he turns his head slightly as an acknowledgement.

“Let there be no hesitation.”

Kylo smirks. “I will not fail.”

 

 

Chaos in the darkness was a flash of light in every direction.

Everything everywhere was being exploded, and people were running scattered on the ground, trying to gain some control—some upper hand.

“Finn!” Poe yells from across the quad. “Rey! Let’s go!”

Rey grabs Finn’s hand and runs towards Poe’s voice. But then a blast separates them, sending her off a hundred yards from her friends. She groans as a deafening screech fills her ears. The bones in her body were aching now and she couldn’t find the strength to move. She moves to lay on her back and stares up at the sky. Then she sees him.

“Get up,” he murmurs at her. “Rey.”

“Ben.”

“Rey—” then louder, “Get out of there!”

“What did you do?” She whispers.

“I didn’t—”

“You promised a truce! Traitor!”

Filled with anger, Rey pushes him out of his mind, blocking him completely. With determination and unresolved conflict battling inside of her, she brings herself up to her feet and looks at her surroundings.

The underground base has been revealed, unearthed with the powerful hits the TIE fighters have been attacking them with. There were bodies on the ground and Rey looks away to keep herself from breaking down. She had to keep her head clear. Where was Finn?

“Rey!”

There he was, waving at her frantically from the other side beside Poe. Rey begins to run towards them and ducks as explosions overhead resounded on the ground. Did they have fighters on the sky? How long was she out? She tried not to turn her gaze up, her survival resting heavily on her ability to get to her friends. But curiosity wins over her and looks up just before she reaches Finn.

A starfighter was hitting the other TIEs.

“Is that one of ours?” She asks Poe as Finn holds her hand.

Poe shakes his head. “If it was, then I’d be the one flying it.”

They didn’t stay to watch it, but Rey remarked how much of a hybrid between a TIE interceptor and defender it was. She didn’t want to hope that it would stay up there fighting off their enemies for long. But for now, it was still defending them. They made a run for it in the cover of trees, with Poe leading them with several others. A huge explosion sets the clearing they’ve left only seconds ago, making them run faster. Troopers wouldn’t be far behind if they were to assume the First Order’s tactics.

Soon, they see huddled figures surrounding a transportation pod and the shadow of the Millennium Falcon not too far behind. Rey was about to breathe a sigh of relief, seeing the General amongst those who escape the base alive, but then she senses a discharge coming from behind and turns around just in time to see the bolt be released from its blaster.

She doesn’t know how she did it, but on instinct she raises her hand to control the energy around her, stopping the bolt mid-air. It whizzes in immobility, stranded, but holding it was no easy feat. Rey realized then that she couldn’t move as well, the tension in her body trapping her. The move was too strong, too fast, especially for someone who had just been under an extreme amount of trauma.

“Rey, we have to get out of here!” Finn says over the noise of the crossfire.

She was just about to try and redirect the blaster bolt when she gets hit in her side and ultimately loses her grip, causing the bolt to whiz past her as she falls on the ground. Finn shoots at them with his own blaster rifle, successfully taking down a few before he crouches down to see how she was. Fires were exchanged between the rebels and the incoming stormtroopers, marching from the shadows of the trees. The screams that followed were not her own. Despite the pain, she forces herself to take a look at where the screams had come from. The aftermath of the blast was more devastating than she realized, and she could literally feel hope deflating inside her.

“Rey!”

She tore her gaze away from the scene and looked up at the night sky as flares of red and blue and green pass above her.

_Rey!_

The irrefutable sound of an ignited lightsaber catches her attention for a brief second and in the trees shrouded in unfathomable darkness, it appears; that buzzing red light, unsheathed. It was the last thing Rey saw before her eyes closed.

 

 

Her light was fading.

Ben knew the feeling better than anyone else. When he had crashed his TIE Silencer, he had seen her running for the trees and assumed she would get on safely before the squadron arrived. It was his mistake to underestimate the First Order—and Hux’s thirst for blood—in this dire situation.

With his lightsaber at hand, he tried to cut down as many troopers as he could to get to her. When he was close enough, the former stormtrooper—FN-2187—had already aimed his blaster at him. Ben swerves him smoothly, dodging the bolt and hitting the following one with his saber. Using the Force, he sends him flying off near the Falcon and continues towards Rey quickly.

The other rebels were too busy crossing fires with the troopers to notice him, and how their Force-sensitive scavenger is badly wounded.

 _Kriff_ , he cursed internally as he pulled at the cloth covered in blood. She was losing too much of it.

“Rey.”

But even with his gentle probing, her eyes remained close. Then he feels a tug at his insides, making him look up. Suddenly, everything vanishes around him. The meadow was glistening under the silver moon, void of violence and chaos and people, save for the two of them.

“Ben.” She raised her hands, opening her arms to him.

“Mom,” he choked out, slowly walking towards Leia. As soon as he was in her warm embrace, he breaks down into sobs. “I’m sorry.”

She hushes him softly. “I know,” she whispers. “I know you are.”

“I wish I could change everything.”

Like the hopeful person that she is, she tightens her hold on him. “You still can,” she says. “Your grandfather did.”

“What?”

“In his last moments, Vader saved Luke from the Emperor. _He_ helped bring down the Empire.”

“Why didn’t you tell me this?”

“You were already gone before I even could.” Leia sighed heavily. “And I wasn’t ready to tell you anything about the father I never knew—and for good reasons. But that was my mistake.”

Ben pondered upon this, looking into her eyes with only one question. “Am I any closer to saving her than I was with you?”

“You’re here in the light, aren’t you?” She chuckles, pulling away to get a good look at him one more time. “We made mistakes, all of us. But it’s what we do to fix them that matters. It’s not too late, Ben. Have hope.”

He nodded, holding on to her hands.

“There are many things you idolize your grandfather for, but only few of them should matter now. Search your feelings, Ben. It will guide you.” Then looking up into the silvery glow, she smiled. “Han…”

Ben closes his eyes as the tears slide down his cheeks.

Leia wipes them away. “It’s time to go now, son.”

He was still holding onto her, refusing to let go.

“Ben.”

He looks at her then and smiles despite the sorrow and regret. Putting on a brave face, he tells her, “May the Force be with you.”

“Always.” Leia smiles in return and in the light, she disappears.

The darkness envelops Ben and he is back in the clearing, holding a dying Rey in his arms. There were only minutes left in her and if he didn’t do anything, he would lose her for good.

Of all the things he was ready to give up, she wasn’t one of them.

 _There are many things you idolize your grandfather for, but only few of them should matter now,_ Leia had said.

Ben rummaged his mind for anything Vader had accomplished—then realized that it was his failings that he never paid attention to. Anakin Skywalker, before anything else, was human. He had loved.

 _And failed_ , he thought to himself.

Anakin succumbed to the Dark Side because he wanted power, but as to why, Ben never thought much about. And he didn’t have to.

The Force ghost of Anakin himself appears as the guidance that Leia had promised. “Ben.”

“Grandfather?”

 

 

Dark Transfer had been done only once before.

It was a kind of power that needed to draw strength from the darkness, a feat that was easy for warlord Kylo Ren but difficult for newly redeemed Ben Solo. Yet he had to do it. Losing Rey would be his destruction, that one final push to complete numbness and desperation and _pain_. And everything in the Dark Side, as he well knows, stems from unbearable agony.

Anakin might have failed to achieve this power, but Ben will not because he will not be blinded by the magnitude of the dark’s supremacy. He had seen enough it. He _is_ its epitome. All he wanted now was to save her; to put that energy in the deepest, scariest parts of him into good use.

With every ounce of strength he had in his body, Ben transferred his life Force to Rey. The strangest sensation ran in his blood as the power surged through him. He didn’t feel the anger and suffering that usually associated his control. Instead, he felt peace and calm—and love.

The light in his mind was blinding. It battled the darkness inside of him; swaying, rather _taming_ it, till it led that hateful and maddening energy source into a thin line. The darkness became a mere shadow to his light. He had never felt this relieved, and serene, in a very long time. Ben was once again Ben; a child, hopeful and unassuming and kind. And though Kylo Ren will always exist inside of him, he knew that everything was in perfect alignment.

Something flickered in the dullness. The in-between, this purgatory, felt all too close until it fell away and revealed her in a golden halo. She began breathing normally again. Her heartbeat was stronger, and her light brighter. Rey wasn’t going anywhere, not anymore. She was here to stay, in this world, in this time, in his arms. And in that moment, he knew.

He was home. He was finally home.

 

 

Rey woke up with extreme pain.

She had been beaten down once before, recovered from wounds—and without a doubt, she will do it again. But this pain was something else. It throbbed with denial, and regret, and betrayal. She felt tricked. There was self-loathing for her confusion in everything that had happened that led her here. This was ultimately her fault, and she was to blame for trusting him. Images of what happened in the woods keep flashing before her eyes; the mayhem, the blaster bolt, and how it killed the only person left to look up to. Rey was in despair.

But then it came, the rage.

She will not let the Resistance down again. She will stand up, and destroy their enemy.

**Author's Note:**

> To alltheseghosttowns:  
> I'm not really sure I could ruin you with this but I tried. I'm *trying* and I really hope you like it (or at the very least isn't disappointed).  
> Have a happy Reylotines reading!


End file.
